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How Well Do You Know: The Life of Brian
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Answers:

1.
Shortly after being born, Brian Cohen is visited by three wise men bearing gifts. Why is she worried that one of them is giving Brian myrrh?
it might bite him
he might eat it
one day, it’ll turn on him
he’s too young to know about sex
 
2.
What star sign is Brian?
Aries
Pisces
Capricorn
Libra
 
3.
While listening to Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Mr Cheeky (Eric Idle) comments on the size of his neighbour’s:
Adam’s apple
ears
nose
bottom
 
4.
Blessed are the:
sneezemakers
greasemakers
fleecemakers
cheesemakers
 
5.
Brian and his mother leave the sermon for the stoning. Meanwhile, Jesus’ sermon is not appreciated by some – apparently what he fails to appreciate is that it’s the ________ who are the problem:
merciful
poor in spirit
meek
persecuted
 
6.
Outside the stoning, Brian asks his mother to buy:
a round stone
a flat stone
a pointy stone
a packet of gravel
 
7.
About to be stoned for blasphemy is Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath. What did he say was good enough for Jehovah?
that piece of mackerel
that piece of halibut
that piece of flounder
that piece of herring
 
8.
How much does Brian give the ex-leper (Michael Palin)?
half a drachma
half a lepton
half a shekel
half a denarius
 
9.
Brian’s mother informs him that his father a centurion in the Roman army named:
Naughtius Maximus
Coitus Magnissimus
Kinkius Ultimus
Anus Optimus
 
10.
Brian has a job selling snacks at the gladiator stadium. What is not one of the snacks he offers?
otter's noses
peacock tongues
jaguar's earlobes
wolf nipple chips
 
11.
Stan (Eric Idle) is always on about women because he wants to be one. What would he like to be called?
Ethel
Gladys
Deirdre
Loretta
 
12.
Stan, Reg (John Cleese) and Francis (Michael Palin) are all members of:
the People’s Front of Judaea
the Judaean People’s Front
the People’s Judaean Front
the Judaean Front of the People
 
13.
Of the following Latin phrases, which correctly translates as “Romans, go home”?
Romanos, ito domis
Romani, ite domum
Romanem, irent domibus
Romanes, eunt domus
 
14.
The People’s Front of Judaea prepare to raid Pilate’s palace. Of the following, what have the Romans not given the people of Jerusalem?
the aqueduct
roads
chariot races
public baths
 
15.
Brian’s cellmate Ben, who accuses him of being a jailer’s pet, is played by which Python?
John Cleese
Eric Idle
Michael Palin
Terry Jones
 
16.
Brian is captured on the raid but according to Ben he’ll probably get away with:
stoning
flaying
burning
crucifixion
 
17.
Pontius Pilate has a gweat fwiend who wanks as high as any man in Wome named:
Bollocks Supremus
Sausageus Humungus
Biggus Dickus
Surplus Penus
 
18.
And his wife is named:
Pudenda Magnissima
Incontinentia Buttocks
Genitalia Warts
Vagina Flatulence
 
19.
Brian is pursued by the Romans and escapes thanks to:
a camel
a riot
a group of pilgrims
a passing spaceship
 
20.
Brian pays Harry the Haggler (Eric Idle) 16 shekels for a beard. What does Harry throw into the deal?
a gourd
a fish
a brush
a pair of sandals
 
21.
The Romans come to search Matthias’ house for Brian and find nothing. When they come back to check the one place they did not look, what do they find?
a bowl
a cup
a spoon
a saucer
 
22.
Brian preaches a sermon to blend in and avoid notice by the Romans. His audience interprets it as accusing:
the birds of being scroungers
the butterflies of being parasites
the flowers of being weak
the orphans of being freeloaders
 
23.
Simon the Holy Man (Terry Jones) breaks his eighteen year vow of silence with what phrase?
Oh, my foot!
Oh, damn and blast!
What do you think you’re doing!
Mother***er!
 
24.
What is the only thing Simon has to eat?
thistles
pomegranates
mustard seeds
juniper berries
 
25.
Brian has a girlfriend. What’s her name?
Judith Iscariot
Joan the Baptist
Martha Magdalene
Simone the Canaanite
 
26.
It’s Passover, and it’s the Woman custom to welease a wrongdoer from pwison. Who do the people of Jerusalem not demand be weleased?
Woger
Wodewick
Weginald
Wingo
 
27.
And of the following, who is not listed as being in prison?
Samson the Sadducee Strangler
Simeon the Samaritan Sorcerer
Silas the Syrian Assassin
several seditious scribes from Caesarea
 
28.
Brian is crucified. Of the following, who does not come to see him?
Judith
Brian’s mother
Simon the Holy Man
Otto and the suicide squad
 
29.
What song do the People’s Front of Judaea sing for Brian?
Nearer, My God to Thee
For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow
He’s Got The Whole World (In His Hands)
Hava Nagila
 
30.
“For life is quite absurd / And death's the final word.” Which lyric comes next?
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.
 




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