1. |
Shortly after being born, Brian Cohen is visited by three wise men bearing gifts. Why is she worried that one of them is giving Brian myrrh? |
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it might bite him | |||
he might eat it | |||
one day, it’ll turn on him | |||
he’s too young to know about sex | |||
2. |
What star sign is Brian? |
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Aries | |||
Pisces | |||
Capricorn | |||
Libra | |||
3. |
While listening to Jesus’ sermon on the mount, Mr Cheeky (Eric Idle) comments on the size of his neighbour’s: |
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Adam’s apple | |||
ears | |||
nose | |||
bottom | |||
4. |
Blessed are the: |
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sneezemakers | |||
greasemakers | |||
fleecemakers | |||
cheesemakers | |||
5. |
Brian and his mother leave the sermon for the stoning. Meanwhile, Jesus’ sermon is not appreciated by some – apparently what he fails to appreciate is that it’s the ________ who are the problem: |
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merciful | |||
poor in spirit | |||
meek | |||
persecuted | |||
6. |
Outside the stoning, Brian asks his mother to buy: |
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a round stone | |||
a flat stone | |||
a pointy stone | |||
a packet of gravel | |||
7. |
About to be stoned for blasphemy is Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath. What did he say was good enough for Jehovah? |
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that piece of mackerel | |||
that piece of halibut | |||
that piece of flounder | |||
that piece of herring | |||
8. |
How much does Brian give the ex-leper (Michael Palin)? |
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half a drachma | |||
half a lepton | |||
half a shekel | |||
half a denarius | |||
9. |
Brian’s mother informs him that his father a centurion in the Roman army named: |
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Naughtius Maximus | |||
Coitus Magnissimus | |||
Kinkius Ultimus | |||
Anus Optimus | |||
10. |
Brian has a job selling snacks at the gladiator stadium. What is not one of the snacks he offers? |
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otter's noses | |||
peacock tongues | |||
jaguar's earlobes | |||
wolf nipple chips | |||
11. |
Stan (Eric Idle) is always on about women because he wants to be one. What would he like to be called? |
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Ethel | |||
Gladys | |||
Deirdre | |||
Loretta | |||
12. |
Stan, Reg (John Cleese) and Francis (Michael Palin) are all members of: |
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the People’s Front of Judaea | |||
the Judaean People’s Front | |||
the People’s Judaean Front | |||
the Judaean Front of the People | |||
13. |
Of the following Latin phrases, which correctly translates as “Romans, go home”? |
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Romanos, ito domis | |||
Romani, ite domum | |||
Romanem, irent domibus | |||
Romanes, eunt domus | |||
14. |
The People’s Front of Judaea prepare to raid Pilate’s palace. Of the following, what have the Romans not given the people of Jerusalem? |
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the aqueduct | |||
roads | |||
chariot races | |||
public baths | |||
15. |
Brian’s cellmate Ben, who accuses him of being a jailer’s pet, is played by which Python? |
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John Cleese | |||
Eric Idle | |||
Michael Palin | |||
Terry Jones | |||
16. |
Brian is captured on the raid but according to Ben he’ll probably get away with: |
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stoning | |||
flaying | |||
burning | |||
crucifixion | |||
17. |
Pontius Pilate has a gweat fwiend who wanks as high as any man in Wome named: |
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Bollocks Supremus | |||
Sausageus Humungus | |||
Biggus Dickus | |||
Surplus Penus | |||
18. |
And his wife is named: |
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Pudenda Magnissima | |||
Incontinentia Buttocks | |||
Genitalia Warts | |||
Vagina Flatulence | |||
19. |
Brian is pursued by the Romans and escapes thanks to: |
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a camel | |||
a riot | |||
a group of pilgrims | |||
a passing spaceship | |||
20. |
Brian pays Harry the Haggler (Eric Idle) 16 shekels for a beard. What does Harry throw into the deal? |
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a gourd | |||
a fish | |||
a brush | |||
a pair of sandals | |||
21. |
The Romans come to search Matthias’ house for Brian and find nothing. When they come back to check the one place they did not look, what do they find? |
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a bowl | |||
a cup | |||
a spoon | |||
a saucer | |||
22. |
Brian preaches a sermon to blend in and avoid notice by the Romans. His audience interprets it as accusing: |
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the birds of being scroungers | |||
the butterflies of being parasites | |||
the flowers of being weak | |||
the orphans of being freeloaders | |||
23. |
Simon the Holy Man (Terry Jones) breaks his eighteen year vow of silence with what phrase? |
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Oh, my foot! | |||
Oh, damn and blast! | |||
What do you think you’re doing! | |||
Mother***er! | |||
24. |
What is the only thing Simon has to eat? |
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thistles | |||
pomegranates | |||
mustard seeds | |||
juniper berries | |||
25. |
Brian has a girlfriend. What’s her name? |
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Judith Iscariot | |||
Joan the Baptist | |||
Martha Magdalene | |||
Simone the Canaanite | |||
26. |
It’s Passover, and it’s the Woman custom to welease a wrongdoer from pwison. Who do the people of Jerusalem not demand be weleased? |
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Woger | |||
Wodewick | |||
Weginald | |||
Wingo | |||
27. |
And of the following, who is not listed as being in prison? |
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Samson the Sadducee Strangler | |||
Simeon the Samaritan Sorcerer | |||
Silas the Syrian Assassin | |||
several seditious scribes from Caesarea | |||
28. |
Brian is crucified. Of the following, who does not come to see him? |
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Judith | |||
Brian’s mother | |||
Simon the Holy Man | |||
Otto and the suicide squad | |||
29. |
What song do the People’s Front of Judaea sing for Brian? |
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Nearer, My God to Thee | |||
For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow | |||
He’s Got The Whole World (In His Hands) | |||
Hava Nagila | |||
30. |
“For life is quite absurd / And death's the final word.” Which lyric comes next? |
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You must always face the curtain with a bow. | |||
Just remember that the last laugh is on you. | |||
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true. | |||
Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. | |||